What can I say?

This blog is my home, my diary, a place where I share my poetry and read others works and get inspired. WordPress will always be a home for me, and hopefully even though I don’t write so often you will give me some of your precious time to go through my work (:

I am 16 years old and I am in grade 11. Just now, just this year I realized how tough life can be. Yeah, yeah I will see more coming on my way but sometimes I feel so lost, I feel like I can’t balance my religion, family, friends and school at the same time. As a muslim sometimes I felt like my religion would make me slower on balancing my life, I felt like it would pull me down to fall on the ground, it was tiring. But slowly I understood that my faith in God is the one that would balance everything around me. I know that many of my fellow readers have different religions and points of views. But the whole point is that you have that one thing you can cling to. That faith is the one that makes you understand the world around you. What makes you patient and obedient to things you don’t have the ability to change.  And that is how I balance my world.

Having friends is one thing, and having that one person you go to and tell all the things you feel like you have to tell but know not everyone would understand is another. I am lucky to have both, and I personally thing it is very vital for everyone to have someone they can tell all their feelings to.

Today I felt like sharing my thoughts with you all. I will also start painting again. My two art works got sold in an Exhibition for a Dubai Care charity organization. To be honest this gives me hope that I can actually have an option in art careers!

Turns in meaning.

The meaning of friendship…changes by every step I take in this world.

From good to bad, from bad to good.

I wonder if it will stop turning.

Friendship,do you know what that means?

The world that lost the meaning of friendship,
Living by and holding to selfishness
What happened friend?
What changed to make you treat me this way?

Yet looking at you. I try to not care.
Yet still my heart aches slowly…silently.

It hurts to know that you’re busy.
Busy holding to your pride,
Instead to our friendship…

Changing yourself, thinking to better,
But it will only take some time,
To realize how much you were wrong.
About your self, about everything around you.
And I swear to God who created you,
You will look into the mirror,
And realize how much you regret,
Every step you took to change your identity.

And at that point, it will be too late,
The real you have departed.
Ran away from you, and you are behind.
Sitting on your knees,
Powerless.

And so will I leave.
And so will others.

 

Unknown.

I look at you,feeling that you’re home.
I acknowledge the inadvertent  pulse to come closer,
To talk to you, to laugh with you.
To be a close person you could lay your shoulder on.

So I take a step, a hesitant breath.
Unsure of how to come closer.
And suddenly I see a wall.
Of someone standing over.
Breaking the bond I wish I could extend longer.

So I think again,doubting myself.
So I step away, inadvertently.

I am sorry. I can see,
Every pain in every of your corner.
Of those beautiful eyes of yours…
All the tiredness hidden inside,
But sparking for me like the moon light.

I want to from all my heart,
To touch the pain and ease it.
To somehow pull it away from you.
To embrace it all together.

But oh all thee, if you could let me,
To just come,a step closer…

There are plenty who love you,
There are plenty who want to be you.
But we all know, that not many,
Can still pull a smile in a day of disorder.

All inside I do always feel,
If only I could come closer,
I could love you more longer
Than any of them all together.

I wish sometimes I could be your friend,
But it seems like a fairy tale,
To this person writing a poem-a
About this beautiful person,about you.

I hope I am not selfish,
And if I am I apologize.
As I can’t help my self in the end of the day,
When I close my eyes, thinking about my tale.

I hope someday you will reach up to me,
As I was too weak to do it myself.
And for now good bye my soul friend.
As I can no longer take it any further.

 

Well, I do apologize for this huge poem, tried to make it somehow in a half, but simply impossible. I really wanted to tell you guys how much emotions of mine were spilled into this poem. Hopefully it will show you with the words I chose. And about the brake I took, I guess you see I broke it! But I can’t promise you that I will be publishing constantly. These 2 weeks were pretty pressurized for me, too much to study and not enough time! But oh well, I am done! 2 more weeks of exams, and I am completely free! And I am planning to learn the native language over here. Arabic. So my summer will be filled with poetry, studies, books and beaches. And of course, with my friends and family.

A friendship game

Today in school me and my best friend Roya played a game. One of us says a word and we write a poem about it and what we think of it. I went first, asking her for a word, her answer: Life and Love. So here you go,my poetry about life and love.

Life is all about love
The ones that love you
Make you special
That ones you love
Make them special

It is not who you are
That makes you special
But the people who love you
That make you special

So live this ice and love them all
So in the end of the day
You could close your eyes
And feel that one feeling
Of how special you are.
To those who love you.
To those who cherish
Everything about you.

It was her turn, so I started thinking, and realized one thing, about the group of friends we have. Not that I don’t like being in a group, I just find my self in a partner friendship. Where you talk to that one person, and that one person understands you. I am more of a person who takes friendship seriously. And in a group friendship, it is very rare to get that. So nowadays I felt very isolated, from the people in our group. It just made me feel that they were taking me far away from my friend. Even though it wasn’t their fault, and I love them, I just don’t feel that I am meant to group friendship.So I said: ” Friendship” And she honestly took her jolly good time writing!

I’ve got a friend
The person who is always with me
Through all the difficulties
And through all the hardships…
The one who always cares about me

And when I m not smiling
Or sitting silent in a corner which is rare
She comes to me and makes me feel
That there is somebody here who actually care.

I feel like flying when i see
My friend is the closest person to me
When I see she is laughing
Even if she laughs about me!
I like that because I made her happy…
I have a friend who is special
The one who makes me feel special
The one who is always next to me.

By Roya

There you go… I couldn’t believe she wrote that for me. For a moment I felt so happy, and then suddenly I ask:”Who is this about?” And she then she gives me the  ” of course you” look and says: ” You of course!” There you go, my friendship with someone solved in just a poem. I recommend you guys to try playing this little game with the people who are close to you. Because poetry talks to you. In a different way, a way that touches your soul and makes me feel special.