Bonds that make our lives.

I look to the east, I look to the west, lost my mind, where do I really belong? No guess at all… 

Have you ever felt like you don’t belong to where you are right now? Or where you used to be? Guess what, I have felt that every single time…. and the moment I get used to my environment, something changes, drastically and severely leaving me hopeless and frustrated again again and again. When I look into the pictures of my old folks, I look at them and I am like: ” Wow, I am glad I don’t live with them anymore, because, dude! I am so different from them!”
The way they live, the way the cloth, the way the talk, their life, everything seems completely different, yet I miss them. Yet I know that in the bottom of my heart  if I was actually there in that country I would meet them and hug them, ask them how are they and have an actual conversation, not the dull and formal how-are-you’s in an online site but an actual friendly conversation!

But I am here. In another country, living, breathing, clothing, talking differently. And even here, I feel that part of me does not belong here. That the people who I talk to aren’t meant to be those who I can trust with my eyes closed. Not that I don’t trust them, but the bond that I want to have with someone, it just doesn’t happen to be with them. Is it weird?

And even though I don’t feel the home feeling with the people I meet,talk, eat and practically live with, deep down I know that someday, again, there will be a moment when I again will be in a different country, looking at their Facebook pictures and being like.. ” Damn… I really miss them.”

Why does this happen? And does that happen to just me? Am I the only one who sometimes sits their while eating their lunch and thinking how weird it is to not have a real bond with someone? To actually know someone deep from their heart, and them knowing me, the bond where they look at me and in an instant moment they know there is something bothering me. Do you have a bond like that? With anyone?


2 thoughts on “Bonds that make our lives.

  1. Maria you belong where you are today. You have memories of where you have came from, they will always be with you. Your heart may take a while to catch up! Stay busy..have fun..enjoy each day. Fondly Julia

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