Talking behind my back..

“Talking behind my back won’t make me hurt. It just makes me feel sad that you actually have the time for it.” Maria Zarif


About me.

Okay, I never expected to see the ” lonely ” part.

In real life you will always find me sitting next to a person and laughing. Joking around with people. It is rare for me to sit alone. Because honestly, being alone scares me. I don’t know why but it just does. And even if I am sitting alone, its probably because the book I am reading is just too interesting for me to let it and read it later at home. Or I will be sitting and writing poems. 

My feelings change toward a person easily, that is true. The moment I realize my friend or best friend has been lying to me or did something she clearly knows I wouldn’t like. I stop being friends with her. I can’t help my neutral feeling. That is how I prevent my self from getting hurt. By feeling nothing toward that person. I literally go to the mode of ” not giving a god damn care”. Which I am good at.

One of my friends told me I am too arrogant. Nope, its okay, I would rather get bad things about me, than good things that are lies. So I thought about it. And yes, it is true. I am, I can’t help my self, but I try controlling what I think and how I say it. I don’t like hurting people. But I never really care about what others think about me. I am who I am. I don’t give a flying monkey if there is a group of people in the corner talking about me. Because, that doesn’t define me. What defines me is me holding my head high above, smiling to their faces and being neutral. But I do blow up when it comes to friends. I am a too good friend. The moment I become friends with someone, I find my self in a position that I should trust, and be trustworthy. I should help and get help. But usually, I don’t get anything. All I do is give. Which takes me to a position that I should take it slow with friendship.

Analyze your self. Write about your characteristics and how you feel about every part of your daily life. Because by doing that, you explore something new. 
If you want the same thing go to this link below and read about yourself. I bet you will get surprised.

My first award.

Yes, this is my second award! And I guess me spending hours on decorating my blog didn’t go to waste eh? 😉 Thank you for nominating me [: 

And I shall nominate other blogs that I really find beautiful, which are :




I don’t know if I am being too greedy with the award thing… but I am just too specific when it comes to designing the blog! Haha [: Have a nice weekend ahead! P.s. It’s already weekend here since the weeks start here on Sundays.


This is one of my favorite art pieces,it just happened to be smudgy, I didn’t mean to while I was doing it, but then I made a mistake so I took a piece of  paper and I saw the effect, I liked it and I made the whole thing blurry and smudgy, love the effect. What do you think? And I also remember while I was painting, there was something missing… like some effect that I just  NEEDED to put on this paper, which was the smudginess. Hope you like it [:

Water color.