Okay, I never expected to see the ” lonely ” part.
In real life you will always find me sitting next to a person and laughing. Joking around with people. It is rare for me to sit alone. Because honestly, being alone scares me. I don’t know why but it just does. And even if I am sitting alone, its probably because the book I am reading is just too interesting for me to let it and read it later at home. Or I will be sitting and writing poems.
My feelings change toward a person easily, that is true. The moment I realize my friend or best friend has been lying to me or did something she clearly knows I wouldn’t like. I stop being friends with her. I can’t help my neutral feeling. That is how I prevent my self from getting hurt. By feeling nothing toward that person. I literally go to the mode of ” not giving a god damn care”. Which I am good at.
One of my friends told me I am too arrogant. Nope, its okay, I would rather get bad things about me, than good things that are lies. So I thought about it. And yes, it is true. I am, I can’t help my self, but I try controlling what I think and how I say it. I don’t like hurting people. But I never really care about what others think about me. I am who I am. I don’t give a flying monkey if there is a group of people in the corner talking about me. Because, that doesn’t define me. What defines me is me holding my head high above, smiling to their faces and being neutral. But I do blow up when it comes to friends. I am a too good friend. The moment I become friends with someone, I find my self in a position that I should trust, and be trustworthy. I should help and get help. But usually, I don’t get anything. All I do is give. Which takes me to a position that I should take it slow with friendship.
Analyze your self. Write about your characteristics and how you feel about every part of your daily life. Because by doing that, you explore something new.
If you want the same thing go to this link below and read about yourself. I bet you will get surprised.
You will look at me once.
You will look at me twice,
I wish I could pop those eyes
And you won’t look at me once
Or look at me twice.
I know, since when is Maria so angry at people looking at her? Don’t get this poem wrong, this was 2 years ago when there was a guy who had this huge crush and would always look at me and find me everywhere in school, and I was a tomboy, not believing in love, so what do you expect? I am sharing this to hopefully make you laugh at how sometimes we laugh about our past, how we used to think and how silly it was. Don’t you think about your past? About those silly little things you did in your life? Think about it, trust me, you will enjoy sharing them with your friends and laughing about them endlessly!
Looking at the world through my eyes
Smiling at things I don’t recognize
Smiling and dying inside at the same time
Why on earth am I smiling
That is the question I’ve never realized
Thinking inside how fake I am
Smiling but faking it all as much as I can
But then who am I again
I forgot as I was trying to smile as hard as I can
Oh friend, look at me
Don’t get fooled by my smile
Don’t get fooled by me saying I am okay
Because I am not
Because I am fading away
Oh friend I know I should tell you
But how am I suppose to tell you
In this crowded and busy world
Where I don’t get to see you much
Where I don’t get to open up to you much
Forgive me if I don’t say
Forgive me if I lie
Because you know I didn’t mean to
You know that very well.
Oh friend lets hold our hand together
And go through this world by weather,
Hand by hand, soul by soul,
Lets show this world the touch of a true friendship
The touch of you and I.
“When will you grow up? When will you understand that revenge will not bring you anywhere and the only way to be smarter is just to smile and to move one…”
A smile can make your heart grow bigger
A smile can bring a spark to someones life
Just a smile can make you and me happy
The power of a smile, the power of you and me.
When I feel only, when I feel sad
I can see your smile and know my day
I see the smile, the gentle true smile
And suddenly my heart feels awaks
And even though you didn’t mean to,
And even though you don’t know,
You made my day,
By just a smile, ny just a tiny little smile.
And you can do the same again
And all of us can do the same
Make someone else happy today
And that else will make you
By just a smile, by just a tiny little smile.